


the weight of a crown

by flyicarus



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 04:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/364924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyicarus/pseuds/flyicarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say that she has forgotten what it was like in Narnia; Susan knows this to be untrue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the weight of a crown

Though Lucy's voice is louder than those of Peter and Edmund, they all condemn her just the same: they say that she has forgotten what it was like in Narnia, what it felt like to be a once and future queen, and that now her only interests lay in lipstick and boys, going to dances and living frivolously. Susan knows that they all talk about her late at night, gathering in the sitting room of their house in their robes, whispering that Susan has forgotten and why did Aslan bring her, anyway?

Part of Susan thinks that they might be right, but only a part, and even then, only a very small one.

Susan Pevensie has not forgotten the feel of a sword pommel against the flat of her palm, or the heavy weight of a blade as it cuts into an enemy's flesh; nor has she forgotten how she would treat with neighboring kingdoms, and women in her court, and others, looked to her as an example; nor has she forgotten how to ride a horse or centaur, or the way one bows to tree nymphs in the woods. She has not forgotten long summers and laying in the grass in her gown, counting clouds and picking out shapes among them; nor has she forgotten Lucy's friendship with Tumnus, and how fondly that faun loved her. She has not forgotten the weight of a crown upon her head, nor anything else, nothing else, about her life in Narnia. How could Susan forget those things?

What Susan remembers is the look on Caspian's face when she realized that she and Peter were never going back, and how that own sinking feeling in her heart grew until it was as boundless as the sea; she remembers going back to school in London and everything seemed so muted. She remembers the moment that she knew she would have to stay in dreary old London, and never go back home - her true home, at Cair Paravel - not ever again.

So what if she throws herself into dances and dates, and wavers over which shoes to wear until about five minutes before leaving, only to rush back up the stairs again and slip on another pair? So what if she wears red lipstick and curls a lock of hair around her finger as she flirts?

She is a queen, and always will be. Susan could never forget that, and that's why no one will ever be good enough for her, because she knows that in Narnia there is a man who is king, and should've been hers. And when her siblings die in a tragic train crash many years later, she still knows herself for a queen, even as she resents the lion that made her one.


End file.
